


Farmstuck

by deerbooty



Category: Homestuck
Genre: 8), And Romance, Cows, Deer, Donkeys, F/F, F/M, Farmstuck, Fish, Here we go, Horses, Humanstuck, M/M, Multi, Music, Owls, Peacocks, Wolves, a farm, alright, also the ships are shown under the relationship area, and davetav, and everything because all of the characters deserve to be happy, and pretty cherry blossom trees, but lots of johnkat, enjoy, enough tags, farmcats, farms, i'll write this a lot, its sort of a late b day gift to my friend tho, lets begin, lots of fluff though, lots of friendship - Freeform, maybe fricking in later chapters, really bad writing though, so yeah!!, some pictures maybe, summertime, suprise, the animals can turn into humans, this is an AU that I came up with at, time to type the actual story, wildcats - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-21
Updated: 2014-10-18
Packaged: 2018-01-20 06:26:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1500086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deerbooty/pseuds/deerbooty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Oh my god, feed me /now/, you uncomfortably rectangular shitbowl, or so help me, I'll take that empty food bowl and shove it so far up your ass that you'll be able to taste the metal!"</p><p>You glance down from the porch swing at the cat, raising an eyebrow. Did it just. Did it just talk?</p><p>"Mrrrrrrow."</p><p>Huh. Whatever, it's probably just the heat getting to your head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Spring /1\

**Author's Note:**

> welcome to farmstuck, an AU that i came up with in a grand total of three whole minutes. yes, i will try to draw some of the animals, but don't be disappointed with the bad art 8(. anyways, this will probably be a multi-chaptered story with lots of ships and friendship. so all aboard the friendship ship of shipping ships as we set sail, into the land of this awful AU! 8)
> 
> (this is written in different points of view, just so you know! mostly john or karkats views, though!)

Your name is John Egbert, and you are currently. Well. Really bored, to be honest.

The Spring, as always, starts off with two whole minutes of being exited over getting to see your friends again. Then, you go to hang with your Nanna. Maybe eat some ice cream. Feed the animals, and then.

And then. Boredom.

Usually, you and your friends all go out and sit under the cherry blossom tree in the field. But, nope, not today. This is because your Nanna is out exercising. Working out, for god's sake. I mean, geez, the woman is like. What, nintey-something years old? But, yeah, she can still walk and run and probably cartwheel like a god damned professional if you asked her to. It's funny and creepy at the same time. 

Sort of like how Karkat, your pet cat, is staring at you right now as if your hair is on fire.

You glance over your book to look at him every few seconds for the grand total of one minute and thirty-three seconds before putting the item down in your lap. And. And staring at him. Because, come on, seriously?? What's his problem? You proceed to frown at him. Sort of a way of saying, you know, 'stop looking at me like I'm about to be stabbed by a t-rex' or something. 

He doesn't look away.

That little teenage rebel. 

Of course, you can't really blame him. He's just a cat, after all, and with those shimmering crimson eyes of his set on you, he's sort of making you feel. Happy. Like, hey, I'm not just your pet, I'm a friend, too. But, after a moment, it returns the frown. Just in a weird, cat-like way. And, alright, you sort of maybe laugh a little at him. All he does is huff and roll his eyes. 

Huh. You never knew cats could roll their eyes like that. But, anyways, you return to your book. It's pretty exciting, actually. This is the pat where the hero--

"Mrrrrrrow." 

Oh. He meows at you, apparently. It's long and scratchy in his throat, dragged out in an attempt to catch your attention. Well, anyways. This is the part where the hero uses his powers to---

"Mrrrrrroooooooooooow." 

Ok, it's starting to get a little annoying now. Maybe if you just ignore him, he'll go away. But even from behind your book, you can feel his gaze gnawing at you. ANYWAYS, this is the part where the hero uses his powers to catch----

"MrrrrrRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOW."

Oh dear Jesus on a stick, that damn cat needs to sHUT THE HELL UP BEFORE YOU GRAB HIM BY THE NECK AND COOK HIM FOR DINNER. Anyways, this is the part where the hero uses his powers to catch a falling woman and save-----

"Oh my /god/, feed me now, you uncomfortably rectangular shitbowl, or so help me I'll take that empty food bowl and shove it so far up your ass that you'll be able to taste the metal!"

You glance down from the porch swing to the cat. Did it just. Did it just talk?

"Mrrrrrrow."

Huh. Must just be the heat getting to your head, then. Whatever. You should probably feed him, anyways. With that, you stand up and flop off of the side of the side of the swing. Right into the floor. Oomph. You lay there for a moment, and just. Sigh. Then, after a minutes of just sort of, laying on the floor, you manage to muster up enough strength to actually get your lazy ass up and walk inside. Open the screen door. Walk on inside, Karkat following you behind. 

Sure, he's an inside and outside cat, but still. Fleas and ticks and shit, oh my. The kitchen is actually the first real room upon entering the house, so you just walk on over to the counter. Reach over to the basket, tucked safely over in the corner and up against the wall. Grab a can of some sort of wet cat food, who knows. You proceed to snap it open, successfully getting cat food juice all over your damn face. Grunt. Karkat-- or Kar/cat/, ehehe- leaps up onto the counter. Looks at the food, then to your face. And then he just sort of. He walks over to you, bent down over the cat food container, and licks some of it off of your cheek. His tongue is rough. Sandpaper-ey. It's sort of comforting, in a way. You smile a little. And then, god damn the greedy little thing. Karkat just struts his lame-ass on over to the can, snatches it up by a side with his mouth. And then leaps off the counter and walks back outside, to who-knows-where.

Farmcats, man.

His fur is sleek and rusty and shimmers in the sun as it disappears around the corner. His colors sort of compliment your clothing- a plain, light blue shirt, and a pair of fuck-up sweatpants that were probably for girls. Dave got them for you ironically, though. The butt says 'SWEG' in big, silver letters. It's actually pretty hilarious. And then, you've got those beaten-up yellow sneakers. Jade and Dave have signed the rubber rims around the bottom. Both of them. And then there is the ever-hilarious barbecue sauce stain paw print on the side of the left one, where Karkat stepped on your shoe when you were a little younger. Ah, memories. And, if you could, you would probably stick around and have some random flashbacks, but nah. You've got work to do! On that note, you dash outside, ready to take on the world. Wait, no. That sounded more dramatic in your head, geez. But still!

First things first. You dash down into the barn. The stables, actually. There's plenty of the family's, as your father used to call them, 'RATHER FANTASTIC AND PRIZED MILKING COWS THAT YOU AND JADE BETTER TAKE GOOD CARE OF' and blah blah blah. There's also a few horses and a deer, too. But the horses are out in the fields right now. Probably grazing. The deer, however, is just where you expected the poor thing to be; sprawled out on the ground of its stable. Dave, you realize, is also with it. Leaning back against the wall, its head on his lap. He's petting it. "Hey, Dave, dude," you huff. Your voice is a bit scratchy, you realize, but that's probably because you're trying to be quiet. "I know Tavvy needs attention, but can you wait until we're done with feeding the cows 'n stuff?" Dave flinches a little. Looks to the sleeping deer, Tavros, on his lap. Tavros stirs a little, cracking an eye and looking up at Dave. They seem to have some sort of. Well. Connection or something, just like you and Karkat do.

You find that rather admirable about him. Just not in a gay way! Ahaha.

Ahahah.

Hhh.

Still, you wait for him to get all the way up. You're pretty sure that he smiled at the deer, but, if he did, you didn't catch it. The deer glares at you. You glare back. Huff. Whatever. You and Dave both walk over to the corner of the stables. Grab a couple of bales of hay, and toss them over the sides of the fences. Gates. Stables. What-the-fuck-ever. The cycle goes on, still, always throwing them over.

You may or may not purposely hit Tavros with his bale when you throw it.

And maybe you snicker at the little yelp he does because of it. Ehehe. 

Dave whacks you on the back of the head. Knees you in the butt. 

Worth it.


	2. thanks for taking forever to update, bug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Here be monsters', the wall reads. The handwriting is gnarled, clawed into the bark, and in all caps.
> 
> You slip into the little cavern anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI MY NAME IS BUG AND SOMETIMES I DONT UPDATE FANFICS FOR 2847575757473 YEARS

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you have never felt so alone in your entire life. Your worthless, tiny life. 

Being is tiring. Especially being partially human. Because, while some emotions you feel are good (see: happiness, bliss), most are bad. And they are so human that you cannot stand them, but you still manage to anyways. Somehow. 

It is late at night when you decide to head over to Nepeta. 

Paws patter softly against the ground, leaves crunching beneath them. The paws are yours, but it is hard to tell; as the scent of rotting meat is already in the air. Something is wrong with Nepeta. Well, there has been something wrong with her for a while now- but the smell has changed. It is no longer friendly, but dangerous- it smells of grief. 

The smell does not fit her, and you are already sick of it.

The moon is up and the stars are out, light illuminating the darkness and practically pouring from between tree branches. Most of the leaves have fallen up in these, these higher elevated parts by now- but it is the end of October, after all.

You do not know it yet, but, on this night- this beautiful, dreamy night-

You will see your best friend- no, sister- for the last time. 

Your fur shimmers in the moonlight when you pass over it, and you try to focus on the crickets around you instead of how the smell is getting stronger. Thicker, you notice. It is hard not to notice. 

You allow your mind to drift till you reach the cherryblossom tree. And then, standing before the towering plant, you pause. The tip of your tail twitches on its own. 

There is a little hole near the base of the tree. The stench of rotting flesh is almost overpowering, and obviously coming from it. You take a moment to look up at the flaky white bark of the tree, reading the words that are clawed into it. It was put there, you recall, to keep trespassers out.

'Here be monsters', the wall reads. The handwriting is gnarled, clawed into the bark, and in all caps.

You slip into the little cavern anyways.

You are greeted by a smell that is so overpowering, you have to force yourself not to collapse on your side and vomit. Probably. Also, a little mewl that would only ever come from- 

"Hello, Karcat!" She rolls her tongue when she speaks, and every time she does it it is _beautiful_. Just like her. 

Slowly, you pad over to her side, looking at her with concerned eyes. "Hello Nepeta," You huff, trying to sound irritated. 

(She knows that you're not.)

The smell of rotting flesh grows stronger as the little cat tries to sit up, before totally collapsing on her side again. You attempt to use your tail as a buffer for her fall, but to no avail. She doesn't seem to mind, though. "Are you doing any better?"

She hesitates a little before responding. "Not really." Looks down to the ground, too. Sheepish. Like she's being scolded. Goddamnit. Before you can ask her what's happened to it, the little cat tilts her head to the side. This exposes the wound around her neck. 

It is disgusting. You want to vomit, but you stay strong. For her.

The wound is covered in some sort of goop and rotting. You can't help but whimper at that, and she bats at you with a paw. "Hey." She seems to put on her best pouty face, and you give a sad little laugh.

Going on like this is tiring. You're sick of faking, but you need to. The least you could do is make her last few nights good ones. Hopefully. "You know," you sigh out, padding over and laying down around her. "those dickweeds back at the farm kind of miss you." 

"I know. I miss them too. Tell them that I can't wait to see them again, hehe!" She giggles, but it's sad. She knows that she won't see them again, and you do too.

"Okay, sure. Whatever. You know that horse, Equius?" 

"Hell yeah I do." This is why she is your best friend. She is a tiny fucking badass.

"He died." That's all you say about him. She gives a little 'oh', and her eyes kind of just. Look sad. "Yeah."

"You know," she huffs, "that dumb goose should be sold. Not even in the good human food stores- like, I'm talking about, 'let's dismember him and sell him on the black market for the human money to give to the two legs in trade for catnip' kinda way." She gives an innocent smile after that. 

She may be dying, but damn if you're not proud. Equius probably scowls at you from like, horse hell or something. 

"Yeah, I know, right? What an asshole. Clawing up your neck like that." You don't really like Gamzee, but, then again, no one really likes geese that claw their best friends in the neck to kill them slowly.

And so, you sit in your cave, content, and talk shit about the people you don't like. She falls asleep beside you, and you keep watch on her. Groom her fur one last time, because it's damn messy. You may whisper an 'I love you' to her. Because you do. She is your best friend, like a sister, and you love her so much more than she'll ever probably know.

And tomorrow morning, when you try will to nudge her into consciousness (as you always do) she will not wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is s oo oooo oooooooo late


End file.
